Sermons

Chalice words:

As the wild wind (may soon) block our doors in, may the gentle flame bring our hearts out.
As the crackling cold air stops our breath, so does the radiant flame draw from us
the words we need to give and to receive:
words of greeting, words of comfort, words of solace,
words to challenge our minds and words to bring us to action.
Let us gaze upon this our common flame,
so that we remember who we are and what we can do when we are together.[1]

 

Reading:  On Joy and Sorrow, by Kahlil Gibran[2]

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

 Prayer:

Today is the first day of Advent. For Christians, this day marks the beginning of awaiting “the coming” - the holy birth and Light of the newborn son, Jesus Christ. For those among us who may find our spirituality elsewhere, we may also embrace this season of preparation. Just as ancient peoples of the world, and people today who’s faith is Earth-based, so we may await Solstice; none other than the blessed return of the light of the newborn Sun, beginning once again to offer us the lengthening days that will bring us planting, growth and harvesting – of food, faith, ideas, passions -  and thus renewed and ongoing LIFE – Light which is in this way, quite literally, our saving grace.

When my children were small, we celebrated the coming birth of the returning sun – our Solstice Advent - with a very small poem that honors Earth, plants, animals and people of the world, one week at a time. The first week’s two-line poem is for the minerals and the peaceful, silent stillness they remind us of. During the reciting of this poem, each family member would add something to our Advent Nature altar.  Since we are not building such an altar in the physical here today, I will invite you to imagine now, in your hands, a stone or bone or ceramic object that is precious to you.  As I read the short poem and prayer to follow, allow yourself to receive from your stone or bone Nature’s gift of stillness and silence.

You may lower or close your eyes if you wish. Breathe gently, and imagine your stone or bone. . .

This week’s two lines of the Earth-based Advent poem go like this:

The first light of Advent, it is the light of STONES
Shining through crystals, seashells and bones

Oh Great Stillness, Great Knowing Silence, that is within and all around us

And held in the hearts of stones and our bones

As we enter into these last and longest days of darkness before the turning of the year

May we find you, like the sunlight awaiting it’s return,

a small and sturdy flame, present at the core of our hearts, 

Even when darkness seems to reign…

Whisper us dreams, visions, knowings, awakenings, passions, the things we are to create, the things we may be called to accomplish or complete in the year to come, the ways we may need to rest or replenish. Speak to us, oh Silence, and, as the light will soon begin to grow the days longer, so too may we grow our awareness of what it is we need to know. 

Amen. Ashe. Aho. So Mote It Be.[3]

 

Sermon:

THE FAULT AND FORTUNE IN SILENCE

Part I: FORTUNE – or - Silence and Well-Being.

I will begin today with two quotes. The first is from Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast[4]  Throughout this sermon I will refer to his words a number of times – if you are unfamiliar with this delightful, wisdom-filled sage’s work, I encourage you to become so.

“Once our heart is anchored in silence, we will be able to listen even while we are speaking. During one of the formal teaching sessions at Sonoma Mountain Zen Center, a sparrow started chirping outside. Stopping in mid-sentence, the Roshi put his palms together and bowed in silence, thanking for the bird’s song. . .  Not to be so wrapped up in our own talk that everything else becomes an annoying distraction – that takes practice.” 

 

In her blog post What Islam Teaches About Making Daily Space for Silence, Tasmiha Khan[5] - writes:

“I grew up steeped in the idea that silence was sacred. As observant Muslims, my family and I would make time to pray five times a day — five distinct, quiet, contemplative moments. This time would interrupt what was going on in our daily lives, no matter what. (!!)

Imagine, for a moment, that, rather than noise interrupting our silence as it so often does, a time for silence interrupted the noise!  What if, like for Khan’s Muslim family, five times in your day, no matter what noise you were in the midst of – cars honking, phones ringing, deeds calling to be done – all of it STOPPED – was silenced, for time in which you would cleanse yourself, washing first your hands, then mouth, nose, face, hair and ears, arms and finally your ankles and feet. . . and that then, purified, you would have your moments to connect to what is sacred to you in silence. . .  five times, every day.

I imagine the ritual washing - the conscious connecting with ones own body, the physical and spiritual symbolism of washing one’s self of all that makes one feel unclean – that this alone would deeply change the way I experience my day. . . but what about the silent prayer time itself?

We are a culture that is, in general, not comfy with silence.

Many of us are so uncomfortable that we tend not only to allow the breaking of our silences, but often to HOPE that any silence we find ourselves in will soon be interrupted – by anything, really, to save us from the anxiety of the unfilled space. . .

We fill our silence with overloaded to-do lists, calls we don’t want to make, trivial conversation, overly exciting gossip, sometimes even drumming up otherwise non-existent drama to fill the space between us.  We are so anxious in even a short silence in the wait in line at the post office that we open our phones to click through facebook, tik-tok, instagram, twitter (ok, well, maybe not twitter so much at the moment. . .) We may frantically tend to email, watch news that upsets us, add chores to our lists, fill our silence with tasks and responsibilities . . . Some of us are so uncomfortable with silence that we cannot be present with it even next to the people we hold most dear. We may be stressed by silence to the point of choosing ANYTHING (including the worldly clatter that contributes to our own lack of well-being) over our dreaded fear of that spaciousness that is silence. .

And yet, both science and our sages teach us that silence is nature’s antidote to all the craziness of life and perhaps much of what ails us. It is most often from within silence that the human being accesses transcendence. Whether one is spiritually inclined or not, transcendence of our woes is key and core to human well-being.

Quotes for Silence:

Notable American physician and bioethicist Eric J. Cassell says:

 “Transcendence is probably the most powerful way in which one is restored to wholeness after injury to personhood.”

“To be able to listen even while we are speaking” (Brother Steindl-Rast). . .

Perhaps one of the most relevant and powerful trainings I experienced when I was in seminary, was a three-part listening skill practice.  We spent every morning – for many days on end -  for the first part in the practice in active listening to one another; what is it to be silent enough within to fully and only hear the voice of another?

After some time, we were introduced to the second part of the practice, where we were encouraged to listen just as fully to that other, but to add and include in our awareness, a full and present listening to our own inner movings; how did what we hear from “other” change or activate our thoughts, emotions, bodies?

If this was not enough to navigate, eventually, in the third portion of our practice, we were to add a yet one more tier of awareness: “listening to the silence” – the voice of God, by our preferred title, if we were religious, the echo of Nature, or whatever we held most sacred.

But here, to me, is the interesting thing:

While hearing “other” brought us out through compassion, and hearing our own responsiveness brought us into authenticity in the moment, the task – or delight – in expanding into awareness of that third voice – the Divine or Sacred – brought us into a great SILENCE.  It was in being connected to and a part of that Silence, within and all around us, simultaneously with all our hearing of other and self, that our own clearest understanding, wisdom, clarity – and gateways for the “other” we sat with – emerged.  It turned out that listening to the SILENCE was what built the bridge of deepest healing and human-making for both self and other.

We need silence. But I need not ramble on about the fortune available to us in accessing silence; listen, for a moment, to what many of our wise fellow humans have said on the matter:

 “For a word to be spoken, there must be silence. Before, and after.”
Ursula K. Le Guin, A Wizard of Earthsea

Real action is in silent moments.
True friends are two people who are comfortable sharing silence together.
I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching.
Let us be silent — so we may hear the whisper of the gods.
Again, Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

The trees, the flowers, the plants grow in silence. The stars, the sun,
the moon move in silence.
Mother Theresa

 

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. Sir Francis Bacon

“Truth is the offspring of silence and meditation…” – Sir Isaac Newton

 It is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence. Seneca The Elder

Nothing has changed the nature of man so much as the loss of silence. Max Picard

 Silence is not the absence of something but the presence of everything. Gordon Hempton

 All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone. Blaise Pascal

 It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. Mahatma Ghandi

 We’re fascinated by the words – but where we meet is in the silence behind them. Baba Ram Dass

Let us now, for three full minutes, invite this magic - Silence - into our midst. See what it may have to offer you this bright morning. I will ring a bell to begin and end our three minutes. Use it to listen to what is within you, what is around us now, or perhaps the voice or non-voice of something greater than ourselves.

---

Welcome, Silence: [THREE MINUTES OF SILENCE.]

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But now listen to this one:

You don’t get black power by chanting it. You get it by doing what the other groups have done. The Irish kept quiet. [People] didn’t shout “Irish Power”, “Jew Power”, [or] “Italian Power”. They kept their mouths shut and took over the police department of New York City, and the mayorship of Boston…

Whitney Moore Young, (African American, trained at MIT as an electrical engineer during WWII, who became a Civil Rights Leader)

 Interesting quote from a civil rights activist. . .  Because, while silent protest does exist and can have great effect (one unforgettable example of this being the self-immolation of Buddhist monks during the war in Vietnam in the 1960’s), in general, social justice calls for our voices.  So here is where I pivot this sermon.

 

Part II: The FAULT in Silence – or - Voice and Well-Being

We know that the “science” of silence has been deeply studied in the past few decades. Mostly in it’s form of meditation and it’s benefits for overall health.  That ability described by Brother Steindl-Rast  - to “anchor our hearts in silence”, that is so needed by us all, we now know is found in methodical and regular use of any number of contemplative practices.

So yes, we know silence benefits us, but: what happens when we welcome what silence offers us?

Says Steindl-Rast:

“Silence will make us hear appeals which noise drowns out: the sights of devastated forests, the groans of lab monkeys with wired skulls, the sobs of mothers with babies at their emaciated breasts. (In silence) We will begin to hear the truth that sets us free: As long as one creature in this world is oppressed and exploited, oppressor and victim alike lack freedom.” 

Brother David says

“Each one of us is called to become that great song that comes out of the silence, and the more we let ourselves down into that great silence, the more we become capable of singing that great song.”

So, if we learn to “anchor our hearts in silence”, if we invite silence into our lives, we cannot avoid beginning to “hear appeals which noise drowns out”.  Yet most of us go neither deep enough into silence to anchor our hearts there, nor vocally enough into the world to make much difference in the plight of those who so desperately make appeals. . .

While I will share with you no answers for these two simple questions I am about to ask – they are yours to find if you wish to seek them – I offer the following for you to ponder:

What helps you “anchor your heart in silence”? And once you do, and if silence whispers it to you, what fuels you in becoming “capable of singing YOUR Great Song”?

In a Scientific American article titled “Neuroscience Reveals the Secrets of Mediation’s Benefits” results of several types of mediation are discussed. All lead to growth in the “thinking” brain – the prefrontal cortex - but one in particular actively “lights up” areas of the brain specifically associated with altruism. While other forms of meditation offered some rest from anxiety, an ability to mange stress and pain and expanded empathy with others, the practice of silent meditation focused on “Compassion and Loving Kindness” also offered practitioners resiliency in the face of great suffering -  From Scientific American:

 “According to the Buddhist contemplative tradition from which this practice is derived, Compassion (meditation), far from leading to distress and discouragement, reinforces an inner balance, strength of mind and a courageous determination to help those who suffer.”[6]

And all these, we know, we must have in being present with suffering. So, SILENCE can – and does – help us to help others.

Perhaps, (especially if you experience difficulty with silence), you might choose to see it as a powerful stepping stone . . . on that leads us more fully to our missions. . .

And so, after we begin to hear “the groans and sobs” of the world, the next step is to “become capable of singing that great song” – also known as (the opposite of remaining silent): USING OUR VOICES.

The International NeuroLinguistic Programing Center[7], posts on their website:

6 Ways Remaining Silent Creates Pain, Wrongdoing and Despair

1. Unspoken words pour salt on old wounds.

2. Silence keeps you trapped in bad situations.

3. Unspoken words create emotional distance.

4. Unexpressed opinions enable wrongdoing.

5. Staying silent can be selfish.

6. Remaining silent can be lonely

Quotes against Silence, Pro-Speaking Out:

I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more. C.S. Lewis

The SILENCE of the good people is more DANGEROUS than the BRUTALITY of the bad people. Martin Luther King Jr.

Betty R. Ferrell and Nessa Coy:  “Suffering occurs  [takes place] when an individual feels voiceless; this may occur when the person is mute to give words to their experience or when their screams are unheard”[8]

 Sometimes the most dangerous thing for kids is the silence that allows them to construct their own stories—stories that almost always cast them as alone and unworthy of love and belonging. - Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone[9]

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, was a German Lutheran pastor, theologian and anti-Nazi dissident, known for his staunch resistance to the Nazi dictatorship. He was accused of being associated with the plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler, and was arrested and hanged for his vocal treason in April 1945. Possibly his most famous quote:

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil:
God will not hold us guiltless.
Not to speak is to speak.
Not to act is to act.”

Not many of us have the commitment to a cause for which we are willing to pay with our lives. . . But this doesn’t mean that breaking our silence can’t be healing in less dramatic ways.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

And: Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King Jr.

You think that your silence on certain topics, perhaps in the face of injustice, or unkindness, or mean-spiritedness, causes others to reserve judgement of you. Far otherwise; your silence utters very loud: you have no oracle to speak, no wisdom to offer, and your fellow men have learned that you cannot help them. Doth not wisdom cry, and understanding put forth her voice? We would be well to do likewise. Ralph Waldo Emerson (again)

Pulitzer prizewinning author Joey Kennedy writes a column every week for the Alabama Political Reporter (and I quote, with his generous permission):

 Being Silent is Being Complicit

“ I was a young journalist, just hired by The Birmingham News. I was standing on the street outside the old Birmingham Newsbuilding. I had my coat and tie on. A man came up and stood beside me, also in a coat and tie, as we waited for the light to change so we could cross the street. An Alabama State Trooper car driven by a black officer passed by. The white man next to me leaned over and said, out loud: “I’ll never get used to seeing a n—– drive a state trooper car.” I looked at the man, startled, then quickly walked across the street. I did not say anything to him.

And I have regretted that inaction ever since. . . I vowed that day never to be quiet again.”[10]

I am guessing that more than one of us here today have made such vows ourselves.

We know in our hearts that both our selves and the world need our voices.

As well, we know that our own healing - and the world’s - needs our moments of silence and transcendence.

I know for me, personally, silence has certainly held both fault and fortune; I have been both decimated and renewed by silence. As a silenced survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I can attest, as many of us who experienced such a thing can, that more harmful than the abuse itself was the silence around it – that of adults who did not dare speak out, that of the culture that developed in my home around keeping silent, and that of myself – and the many ways my own voice was taken from me in preservation of the “goodness” of my abuser.   On the other hand, the decades of meditation practice (that in some ways was fueled by the wounds of my childhood) lead me to finding my way to, as Brother Steindl-Rast says “become that great song that comes out of the silence”. Silence (in the form of meditation) eventually guided me to become advocate not only for myself, but for other survivors, and I now work as well with perpetrators, who, of course, are themselves survivors of so many kinds of abuse and silencing.  For me, no healing or empowerment has ever been so great as that which silence offered me – for, perhaps ironically, and certainly thankfully, it gave me the regaining of my VOICE.

In conclusion

I ask: SILENCE . . . VOICE. . . Most of us feel more comfortable with one than the other. . . yet to walk our lives as human beings in balance, do we not need both in equal measure?

On the one hand: The Silence of Fortune, that offers us Well-Being, respite, enhanced brainpower, physical health, better sleep, ease in stress management, emotional and mental healing, spiritual growth, courage and capability in the midst of personal and earthly pain, transcendence of all that cripples us in the noisy world, and. . .

AND

On the other hand: Counter to a Faulty Silence - Our strong, clear VOICES - Voices called, cried, sung out, when we are willing and able, in the name of change, growth, bridge-building, and compassionate action for our fellow Earthlings and our selves.

 I hold your hearts.

I celebrate your voices.

Thank you.

 Extinguishing the Chalice:

We extinguish the chalice here – yet may it glow gently in our hearts.
May it light your path as you leave this place.
May it support both your silence and your song.
May it guide your way until we are together again.[11]

Closing Words:

Because we are now entering fully into the silent and inward time of year, I will leave you with the blessing of these words on silence, by a young Canadian poet, who geos simply by Jaime[12]  and let us  trust that when the silence guides us each to sing, we will.

The winds and the crickets left today,
Presumably on some far-away vacation.
The leaves don't rustle, the trees stand tall,
Radiating some proud elation.

The grass has an unbreakable backbone,
Finally unmoving to another’s will.
The clouds are sitting rather heavy,
And the lake water is entirely still.

The world now sits patiently, listening,
But in shock, my voice fails.
Not a single thing in motion;
The silence prevails.

Today, the universe showed me,
How to appreciate small joys;
Today, great beauty was revealed,
Through a simple lack of noise.

Go now in Peace, Friends.

And with much Love.

Amen and Blessed Be.

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[1] Our chalice lighting words today were slightly modified from those written by Ben Soule[1], a worship associate and life-long attendee at First parish in Lexington, MA.

[2] You may read Gibran’s poem in it’s entirety at https://poets.org/poem/joy-and-sorrow

[3] History of the phrase “So Mote It Be”: https://www.learnreligions.com/so-mote-it-be-2561921

[4] Brother David Steindle-Rast (born 1926) is a Benedictine monk and renowned teacher. This quote is from his book A Listening Heart: The Spirituality of Sacred Sensuousness (1999) visit his website here: https://grateful.org/brother-david/

[5] https://forge.medium.com/tips-from-islam-teachings-for-making-daily-space-for-silence-f2d7f472a585

[6] Scientific American article; Neuroscience Reveals the Secrets of Meditation’s Benefits, ByMatthieu Ricard, Antoine Lutz, Richard J. Davidsonon November 1, 2014 [  https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/neuroscience-reveals-the-secrets-of-meditation-s-benefits/  ]

[7] https://inlpcenter.org/the-power-of-unspoken-words-7-ways-remaining-silent-creates-pain-wrongdoing-and-despair/

[8] The Nature of Suffering and the Goals of Nursing, by Betty R. Ferrell and Nessa Coy. Buy this book here: https://www.betterworldbooks.com/product/detail/the-nature-of-suffering-and-the-goals-of-nursing-9780195333121   le

[9] See Brene Brown’s book here: https://www.abebooks.com/Braving-Wilderness-Quest-True-Belonging-Courage/31066933878/bd?cm_mmc=ggl-_-US_Shopp_Trade0to10-_-product_id=COM9780812985818USED-_-keyword=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAg_KbBhDLARIsANx7wAzAk3_sh6LaBZO7w_9OLeAnsCSeOfAVvwcW82-xMI-J1CqYE41mY4IaAgooEALw_wcB

[10] Read Mr. Kennedy’s piece in full: https://www.alreporter.com/2020/06/04/opinion-being-silent-is-being-complicit/   Email contact for Joey Kennedy: joeykennedy@me.com

[11] Words adapted from those of Martha L Munson

[12] https://www.poems-and-quotes.com/poems/950258