Cultivating a Generous Heart
RESPONSIVE READING ~ by Peter T. Richardson
Our Covenant
Love is the power that holds us together.
Accountable to one another, we affirm these values:
Interdependence.
Pluralism.
Justice.
Equity.
Transformation
Generosity. In gratitude and hope, we feel connected in relationships of mutuality.
We covenant freely and compassionately to share our faith, presence, and resources.
AFFIRMATION
Inspired by the many scriptures and traditions of our world, their history, stories, wisdom; we are grateful for our planetary inheritance.
In ordinary, difficult or joyous times, may we be grounded and sustained.
READING ~ from The Science of Generosity A white paper prepared for the John Templeton Foundation by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley May 2018
Individual Factors Linked to Generosity
There are several intrapersonal factors that can influence generosity. Feelings of empathy, compassion, and other emotions can motivate us to help others. Certain personality traits, such as humility and agreeableness, are associated with increased generosity, and a person’s tendency to engage in prosocial behavior may be considered a personality trait in itself. A person’s values, morals, and sense of identity can also modify how willingly they engage in generous acts. In addition, research suggests that gender and religion may influence generosity, although the findings from different studies have sometimes shown conflicting or nuanced results.
SERMON
A story.
Once upon a time, not so long ago and not so very far away, there were two brothers who owned a farm together.
One brother was single, the other brother was married with children.
They shared equally in the produce that came from the farm.
One day, the single brother said to himself, “It is not right that I share equally in the produce with my brother; after all, I am by myself and my needs are simple. But my brother has to take care of his wife and children.” So the single brother would sneak out in the middle of the night and take a sack of his grain and secretly put the grain in his brother’s bin.
Meanwhile, the married brother said to himself, “It is not right that I share the produce of the farm equally with my single brother. After all, I am married and have my wife and children to look after me in the years to come. But my brother has no one to take care of him in the future.” So, the married brother would sneak out in the middle of the night and take a sack of his grain and put it in the bin of his single brother.
For years the brothers were puzzled as to why their supply of grain did not dwindle. One night it happened that they both went to each other’s bin at the same time. In the dark, they both stumbled and fell into each other, each carrying the sack of grain. Each was startled but then they both realized what was happening. They dropped their sacks and embraced each other.
Surely, this is a story about generosity.
It is also a story about gratitude.
Each brother realized that he had more than he needed in comparison to his brother. Each showed gratitude for what he had and each showed generosity toward his brother.
Here, the brothers meet at the intersection of gratitude and generosity. When they embrace in love, their hearts grow in both gratitude and generosity.
Another story. This story comes from Robin Wall Kimmerer.
My father loves wild strawberries, so for Father’s Day my mother would almost always make him strawberry shortcake. She baked the crusty shortcakes and whipped the heavy cream, but we kids were responsible for the berries. We each got an old jar or two and spent the Saturday before the celebration out in the fields, taking forever to fill them as more and more berries ended up in our mouths. Finally, we returned home and poured them out on the kitchen table to sort out the bugs. I’m sure we missed some, but Dad never mentioned the extra protein. In fact, he thought wild strawberry shortcake was the best possible present, or so he had us convinced. It was a gift that could never be bought. As children raised by strawberries, we were probably unaware that the gift of berries was from the fields themselves, not from us. Our gift was time and attention and care and red-stained fingers. Heart berries, indeed.
Kimmerer, Robin Wall. Braiding Sweetgrass (pp. 24-25). Milkweed Editions. Kindle Edition.
Even now, after more than fifty Strawberry Moons, finding a patch of wild strawberries still touches me with a sensation of surprise, a feeling of unworthiness and gratitude for the generosity and kindness that comes with an unexpected gift all wrapped in red and green. “Really? For me? Oh, you shouldn’t have.” After fifty years they still raise the question of how to respond to their generosity. Sometimes it feels like a silly question with a very simple answer: eat them.
Kimmerer, Robin Wall. Braiding Sweetgrass (p. 23). Milkweed Editions. Kindle Edition.
Here Robin Wall Kimmerer experiences the generosity of the earth and that leads her to gratitude and to giving. She says that as children, their gift to their father was not the wild strawberries themselves, for they are the gift of earth to all beings who love strawberries. Their gift was time and attention and care and red-stained fingers.
Generosity of time and attention and care … and, yes, red-stained fingers. Generosity is not always about material or financial wealth – in fact, maybe generosity is less about money and more about care, compassion, and community.
In Simple Truths, Kent Nerburn states: “Giving is a miracle that can transform the heaviest of hearts. Two people, who moments before lived in separate worlds of private concerns, suddenly meet each other over a simple act of sharing. The world expands, a moment of goodness is created, and something new comes into being where before there was nothing. . . . But true giving is not an economic exchange; it is a generative act. It does not subtract from what we have; it multiples the effect we can have in the world.”
Let me say that again ….practicing generosity does not subtract from what we have; it multiples the effect we can have in the world.
Simply put, generosity is giving from the heart; it is giving of ourselves through our demonstration of love, compassion and kindness. It is more than our material possessions; it involves sharing our gifts and talents. So, we need to become intentional in our giving or we might miss opportunities to be generous.
We need to be intentional in our giving.
What does that mean in our everyday lives?
This is the invitation for today: Find and practice ways of intentional generosity, and through that practice, cultivate a generous heart. Generosity as a spiritual practice will, like most spiritual practices, increase our capacity to do more of the same. As we practice generosity, we are cultivating a generous heart. As we cultivate a generous heart, our capacity for generosity increases. A little bit leads to more.
Friends, this is not new information, though the science of generosity is providing new data on how human beings, and some animals, demonstrate generosity. Moreover, the science of generosity examines ways that generosity benefits both the recipient and the giver.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. in The Benefits of Generosity says,
“Year after year, more and more studies are highlighting the benefits of generosity on both our physical and mental health. Not only does generosity reduce stress, support one’s physical health, enhance one’s sense of purpose, and naturally fight depression, it is also shown to increase one’s lifespan.”
So, science agrees, generosity is healthy. Cultivating a generous heart maintains generous health.
Without in any way disparaging the science of generosity and the various studies that prove generosity increases the well-being of all, I do want to remind us that this same wisdom has come down to us from various sages and sources through the ages.
There is a Nigerian proverb that goes like this: “It’s the heart that gives; the fingers just let go.”
Buddhist teacher, Sharon Salzberg says:
“When the Buddha taught, he always began with generosity.”
“The Buddha said that a true spiritual life is not possible without a generous heart. Generosity is the very first [perfection], or quality of an awakened mind. The path begins there because of the joy that arises from a generous heart. Pure unhindered delight flows freely when we practice generosity. We experience joy in forming the intention to give, in the actual act of giving, and in recollecting the fact that we’ve given.”
Generosity’s Perfection. Sharon Salzberg. https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/generositys-perfection/
Matthew Fox in Sins of the Spirit, Blessings of the Flesh writes: “Generosity is about giving without a guaranteed return — it is about the ‘giveaway.’ I believe that the true moral path of the twenty-first century will be very different from the path of the modern era because it will be marked by generosity.”
Henri Nouwen, Roman Catholic contemplative, says in his book, Sabbatical Journey: “I think that generosity has many levels. We have to think generously, speak generously, and act generously. Thinking well of others and speaking well of others is the basis for generous giving. It means that we relate to others as part of our ‘gen’ or ‘kin’ and treat them as family. Generosity cannot come from guilt or pity. It has to come from hearts that are fearless and free and are willing to share abundantly all that is given to us.”
The poet and Sufi Mystic, Rumi, said,
“Be like a river in generosity and giving help. Be like a sun in tenderness and pity. Be like night when covering other’s faults. Be like a dead when furious and angry. Be like earth in modesty and humbleness. Be like a sea in tolerance. Be as you are or as you look like.”
Let’s return to our Unitarian Universalist value.
Generosity. In gratitude and hope, we feel connected in relationships of mutuality.
We covenant freely and compassionately to share our faith, presence, and resources.
Generosity cannot be separated from gratitude.
Generosity is about relationships of mutuality.
Our value of generosity means that we share our faith, our presence and our resources freely and compassionately … and without expectation of any particular outcome.
You know, really, it’s easy to talk about generosity and giving in terms of money. We say we dislike talking about money, asking for money and making hard decisions about how to spend the money we have. I agree.
But harder still is talking about generosity and gratitude that have nothing to do with money. Our value statement says:
In gratitude and hope, we feel connected in relationships of mutuality.
What do we mean by “relationships of mutuality?” It’s about people. I want to suggest to you that we mean all of our relationships – the easy relationships AND the difficult ones ….. maybe especially the difficult ones. It is here, in the difficult moments or with difficult people, that we must use the muscles of a generous heart. If our heart is not strong, if we have not cultivated our heart to be generous, connecting in mutuality can be hard – maybe not even possible.
We Unitarian Universalists are fond of quoting our Principle that says that we affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of all persons. It takes a generous heart to bring this principle to life when connecting with people who are very different from us or when we find ourselves in conflict with people. Generosity of thought and word is required. Generosity of presence and space to listen and understand even when understanding is a struggle is required. Generosity of heart requires that we extend hospitality and forbearance to those with whom we will probably never agree, but with whom we might, nevertheless, find ways to form relationships of mutuality.
I’m not suggesting that generosity is always easy. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes we don’t want to practice generosity because we want to remain fixed in our self-important righteous indignation rather than choosing relationship over rightness. I think you probably recognize this trap of self-righteousness – and I am not going to ask for a show of hands, but I hazard a guess that most of us have found ourselves at one time or another abandoning our fledgling practice of generosity in the face of people and situations that make our blood boil or our heads spin in disbelief. The value of generosity calls back to our better selves. It does not require agreement, capitulation, or cheap grace. It does require that we keep an open heart and an open mind.
My Dear Spiritual Companions, may we find the many ways to cultivate our own generous hearts so that we might practice unlimited generosity of life and spirit wherever we go and with whoever we meet.
Let generosity be the hallmark of our relationships.
Let generosity link the well-being of all one to another.
Let us give thanks for this precious day,
Let us give thanks for all gathered here and those far away;
For this time we share with love and care,
Oh, we give thanks for this precious day.
We are truly blessed.
Grateful for all that we have, we are so blessed.
Blessed Be. I Love You. Amen.
