Sermons

August 6, 2023

Being vulnerable means taking off our armor

READING by Jean Shinoda Bolen
“To be vulnerable and fallible,
to have a shadow and a soul,
to make our way in (and) through life
determining who we become
by the choices we make, is what we do here.
Over and over again, it seems to me,
life comes along and says, “Choose!”
The small and large moments of truth
that shape what goes into
or is left out of a book, find parallels
in the small and large moments of
truth that go into the choices
we make in life
about what to add or delete.
These are the decisions that shape our lives,
which ultimately are soul journeys.”
From Crossing to Avalon, HarperCollins, 1995, pp. 272-3

 

READING by Philip Booth
Lie back daughter, let your head
be tipped back in the cup of my hand.
Gently, and I will hold you. Spread
your arms wide, lie out on the stream
and look high at the gulls. A dead-
man’s float is face down. You will dive
and swim soon enough where this tidewater
ebbs to the sea. Daughter, believe
me, when you tire on the long thrash
to your island, lie up, and survive.
As you float now, where I held you
and let go, remember when fear
cramps your heart what I told you:
lie gently and wide to the light-year
stars, lie back, and the sea will hold you.
 

SERMON:

Congregations naturally feel vulnerable during pastoral change. I would venture the guess that you, the members & friends of the Castine UU Cong. feel a bit vulnerable with Rev. Margaret’s retirement. To be sure, she & you have felt vulnerable ever since her cancer diagnosis was discovered & made public. I have been amazed & impressed with how both Margaret as your minister & you as her congregation have dealt with that news, her treatments & of course, now, her retirement.

From my perspective, you have been remarkably open, & caringly responsive to one another, & honest throughout this past year as the process evolved. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say in my sermon today.

Interestingly, I found some inspiration in advice given on NPR. They quoted Tania Israel, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She said that she was talking to her therapist about how she didn’t mind being vulnerable as long as she knew the other person would be warm, that they wouldn’t judge and all that.

And her therapist said, “that’s not vulnerable. Being vulnerable means taking off our armor & going in not knowing how we’ll be received, but putting ourselves out there a little bit anyway.”

Well, Margaret & you as the congregation she has served so well have not had the luxury of choosing to take off your armor over the past year. But you moved forward with grace & class, never-the-less.

I have had the privilege of knowing this congregation & its wonderful members for over 41 years. During those years there have been a number of vulnerable times.

I first served as your minister back in 1982, when you began to contemplate the difficult decision of whether or not to separate from the Inter-Church Parish in order to survive as a Unitarian Universalist Congregation.

My 1st year with you, I preached once a month as you alternated between the two church buildings, Main Street and here. Those who were your lay leaders back then did take off their armor when they made the decision that they would no longer keep going along in a theological direction that didn’t fit for them as Unitarian Universalists.

The Inter-Church Parish had taken form out of a practical need for pastoral presence here in Castine back in 1965, as Lynn Parsons pointed out in his book Missions and Meeting Houses. The Rev. Raymond Johnson, a UU Minister who had retired to Castine, & lay leaders from the other Castine congregations got together to talk about the difficult times they were having getting resident ministers. Neither the Federated Church, now the Main Street Church, or the Episcopal Church had resident ministers. The Federated Church hadn’t had one since 1943. The various Castine congregations joined together so they could have one full-time minister in the community.

That worked quite well, for a considerable time. But, the Episcopal Church withdrew early on. All the resident ministers had been Congregationalists. The UUs realized that they were losing their identity & losing membership. In 1961 there were over 100 members of this congregation. In just 20 years membership went down to the mid 20s.

I can remember sitting in the Parish House with a small group of the UUs, listening to them tell their stories about why they first came to this congregation. What motivated them to come & how they felt uncomfortable withdrawing from the IPC Interchurch Parish of Castine. Many of them remembered supporting its creation. Slowly, they began to clarify their thinking about their identity & goals, needing to align with their theology & values. One of the remaining Unitarian Universalists who became clear about their desire to withdraw from the IPC was Katherine Johnson, the widow of one of the original leaders who helped create the IPC, the Rev. Raymond Johnson.

Forty years ago your spiritual leaders decided that they needed to re-establish their UU identity because they believed a UU presence needed to survive here in Castine. A presence that began with the first minister of this congregation, the Rev. William Mason, who came here in the 1790s. Forty years ago, they didn’t know how their actions would be received, but they put themselves out there. They decided they needed to take action even if it upset the applecart. They wanted the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Castine to once again survive & thrive.

That was when I began to serve as the minister here on a quarter time basis. It was a vulnerable time. And as Tania Israel said, “Being vulnerable means taking off our armor & going in not knowing how we’ll be received, but putting ourselves out there a little bit anyway.”

Coming out of the Covid Pandemic, we have found is another vulnerable time for congregations & for ministers. We realize how much changed since early in 2020 when Covid shut so much down. Ministers & congregations felt grateful for & frustrated with learning how to offer virtual church services & then hybrid services. It continues to be a mixed blessing. It has allowed people who cannot physically get to Sunday Services to attend, and for people who live part of the year in different locations to maintain an active presence in their congregations. It has also, surprisingly, enabled people to discover a congregational home online.

And, so much continues to be in flux. So, even for us UUs who have long prided ourselves as religious people who embrace change, it at times seems like a difficult challenge. So, what does it mean for us, today to take off our armor  & go into an evolving present, not knowing how we’ll be received, & what is coming next, but putting ourselves out there, anyway?

This is why I love the words of Joseph Broadsky when he wrote that it is important to “… learn that a new century, a new era–anything new–(potentially) starts on a gray day, when your spirits are low and there is nothing eye arresting in sight.”

Of course it can come literally on a sunny day or even on a day when our spirits are high. But, a new day does not necessarily come with a clap of thunder or a dramatic word. Often, it arrives quietly & we don’t even realize the significance of what is happening. But, in about 6 or 7 years we will be able to sense what change has taken place.

As Heraclitus wrote so long ago:
“Everything in the universe is predicted to change.”
“All things are in motion and nothing at rest.”
Inner & Outer Transformation       p. 21 Spring 2023 Parabola

This is illustrated in a concrete way when we realize that our body is constantly changing, making new skin cells each and every day. In fact our body makes new cells that replace the approximately 40,000 old skin cells that your body sheds every day. We have new skin every 30 days.

I just happen to be a bit of a living contradiction, in that I have embraced many changes, moving from Lutheranism to UUism, going through a divorce, having lived in many different towns & states, & served a varieties of very different congregations & I was an early adapter when it came to using a computer, a cell phone (actually my first one was a bag phone), getting solar panels, a hybrid car & now a totally electric car. But at the same time, I complain constantly about change. I don’t even like it when Alison moves something in the kitchen cupboards. And, you don’t want to get me started on passwords & automated phone systems.

Some changes are easier to accept & go along with than others. We are forced to realize that we all change & more frequently than we want. As I have aged, I have been forced to accept & expect changes in myself & my surroundings. We know that we also have to expect people in our lives to change. As Jean Shinoda Bolen, so wisely wrote:
“To be vulnerable and fallible,
to have a shadow and a soul,
to make our way in (&) through life
determining who we become
by the choices we make, (it) is what we do here.”
Over and over again, it seems to me, life comes along and says, “Choose!” Once again, you the members of this courageous congregation are facing a vulnerable time confronted by life which comes along and says, “Choose?” Again, & again.

Of course you have chosen to accept that the Rev. Margaret Beckman has retired as your beloved minister. Now you are faced with the choice of accepting that in spite of your discomfort you need to move on & make some choices. Someone with more knowledge about the structure, process & the timeline you will face, will come from the UUA & share that information with you.

You are faced with accepting that there will be all sorts of incremental choices you as a congregation will need to make. And this is an important point along the way, you as individual members & friends of UUCC will need to choose to accept that even if you have held leadership roles in the past or haven’t held such roles, some of you will be called on to step forward. Called on to step forward, take off your armor and go into a leadership position not knowing how you will manage to fill the role nor how you will be received by others, but you will need to put yourselves out there a little bit anyway & choose to help this, your congregation move forward to survive & thrive.

To do so you may benefit from remembering the poem “First Lesson” by Philip Booth. I have loved this poem for years.
Lie back daughter, let your head
be tipped back in the cup of my hand.
Gently, and I will hold you. Spread
your arms wide, lie out on the stream
and look high at the gulls. A dead-
man’s float is face down. You will dive
and swim soon enough where this tidewater
ebbs to the sea. Daughter, believe
me, when you tire on the long thrash
to your island, lie up, and survive.
As you float now, where I held you
and let go, remember when fear
cramps your heart what I told you:
lie gently and wide to the light-year
stars, lie back, and the sea will hold you.

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