Sermons

READING ~ Transgender 101: Identity, Inclusion, and Resources, 10 Ways to be More Welcoming and Inclusive of Transgender People, (UU General Assembly 2015 workshop Are All Welcome Here? Congregational Engagement with Gender Identity.)

Our culture tends to limit its understanding of gender to only two options: man and woman. Unitarian Universalism recognizes that there are more than two genders, and an infinite variety of gendered experience in the world.

Transgender Inclusion & Affirmation
Inclusion and affirmation of people of diverse gender identities and expressions takes intentional work on the part of communities of faith.

It’s important to remember that change can be challenging and may take time. Widening the circle of inclusion and creating space for another person’s experiences and needs can be uncomfortable at first, yet dedication to the vision of a community where all are able to bring their full selves is a powerful ministry with transformative potential for all.

 

READING ~ from Gender Euphoria, Stories of joy from trans, non-binary and intersex writers. Edited by Laura Kate Dale. London: Unbound, 2021.

From the Introduction:

I have thought a lot about the importance of celebrating the fact that stories of transition are not all just about doom and gloom, as much as it may sometimes feel that way. I’ve experienced countless moments of elation, pride, confidence, freedom and ecstasy as a direct result of my coming out as a trans woman the better part of a decade ago, and I know I am not alone.    …….  I have heard countless wonderful stories about the ways that coming to terms with gender brought unimaginable happiness and love into their lives.   …….

I’m not going to pretend that the world isn’t sometimes a bit miserable for non-cisgender people. I’m not going to pretend a lot of us didn’t have a rough road to get where we are now. But, this book isn’t about that. This book is about gender euphoria. This book is about people doing small actions and grand gestures that made them feel radiantly themselves and wonderfully at peace.  (pp. 3-4)

 

SERMON ~ “The Path of Courage of Transgender People”

“I had been living as Laura for years. I was a woman, and had been living openly as such for years. Every time I had to tell someone my deadname while booking into a hotel, or show them my ID from my more masculine years to prove my identity, it felt like I was tearing away a piece of the identity I had spend those years working to establish. It enforced this horrible feeling that Laura was a performance I was enacting, one to be stripped away when it was time to establish my actual identity. It made it tough not to feel that my status as a woman was something that might just be taken away from me at a moment’s notice.

It was a long time incoming, but on a bright sunny morning in the summer of 2014, my new passport arrived.  It was perfect. It was me. It was a legal document that validated who I was, in a way that was hard to deny for outsiders.

On paper, getting my passport updated didn’t change much about how I lived my life. ….  What it did do, however, was replace years of hesitance and anxiety around my identity with a new-found sense of confidence. That was truly a euphoric experience.”[1]

That essay, “The Empowering Magic of Affirmative ID” was written by Laura Kate Dale who edited the book Gender Euphoria – Stories of joy from trans, non-binary and intersex writers.

Laura is thirty years old and lives in the UK. She is a writer, full-time video game critic and podcaster.

You heard a minute ago that Laura compiled the essays in her book because it is important that people know and understand that life for trans, non-binary and intersex people is not all about pain and suffering and wondering if the few legal and social gains they’ve achieved over the last few decades will be lost as rightwing religious zealots work to repeal current legal protections and enact new restrictions on their lives.  No, it isn’t only that.  It is all that.  But it is more than that.

Laura and the other contributing writers share their very personal stories of joy, triumph, acceptance, and euphoria.

Trans men and trans women live in a world where being different is not just hard.  Some places it’s illegal and all too often it is dangerous and violent and sometimes fatal.  Yet, many transgender people chose to live openly as the gender they affirm for themselves – knowing the risks and embracing the benefits of living an authentic life.

None of this comes without struggle and patience and courage.

Those of us who are cis-gender cannot know what it feels like to be born a gender that does not match the body we have or the gender assigned to us at birth.  The courage required to come out and live as transgender is beyond anything I have ever known or had to deal with in my life.  We’ve all had our struggles. AND …

We all know there are people who are right now drafting legislation designed to codify the right to use religion to discriminate against all members of the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/transgender/queer and non-binary/non-gender conforming community.  I am not telling you anything you do not already know.

There is so much we take for granted.  Our privilege, the privilege of being cis-gender, is so pervasive and normative that we don’t even notice it.  We don’t have to.  We’re the “normal” ones and the world accepts us as we are without hesitation.

There is no such privilege or acceptance or comfort for transgender people.

Young people have the added burden of not having achieved the legal age of self-determination. It is difficult enough for adults to assert our rights over our own lives, our bodies, our healthcare, our name and how we choose to present ourselves to the world.  Minor children do not have these rights and there are those who would deny youth the right to determine their own gender and gender expression.

While so many of us are working to restore the right to control our own body and to determine for ourselves whether and when to birth children, transgender youth are being intentionally and systematically denied respect, recognition, and life-saving medical care as a matter of other people’s religious opinions and preferences.

In 2022, there have been about 300 bills introduced in state legislatures that would curtail or deny the civil, human and religious rights of transgender youth, their parents and other transgender adults.

Those of us who carry the privilege of being Cisgender must become stronger and more effective allies of transgender people.

Our Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations passed an Action of Immediate Witness at our General Assembly meeting in June of 2021

Defend and Advocate with Transgender, Nonbinary, and Intersex Communities  2021 Action of Immediate Witness

The document is long and gets into the weeds – as UU statements are prone to do.  It says, basically, that UUs affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of all and it calls on individuals and congregations to work to repeal existing anti-LGBTQIA laws and seek passage the Equality Act with gender and identity protection.

We are called upon to examine our own congregational efforts to be welcoming of all genders and gender identities.

We are called upon to seek justice through our own state legislatures.

We are called upon to set aside any of our own discomfort or reticence when welcoming all genders and gender identities; to learn and grow where we are unfamiliar or weak in our support.

We are called upon to widen our circle of care and love.

Let me back up a minute and make sure we know our vocabulary.

Then, I’ll tell you another story.

Then, we will sing and then we will have our coffee. Then we will go out into the world as better advocates.

Transgender.  First coined to distinguish gender benders with no desire for surgery or hormones from transsexuals, those who desired to legally and medically change their sex, more recently transgender, trans, and/or trans* have become umbrella terms popularly used to refer to all people who transgress dominant conceptions of gender, or at least all people who identify themselves as doing so. The definition continues to evolve.

 Cisgender.  A term that is becoming increasingly popular to describe people who are not trans or gender variant—in other words, those whose gender identities, presentations, and behavior “match” (according to the gender binary) the sex they were assigned at birth. Cis is a prefix with roots that mean “on the same side”; trans and cis are neutral descriptors.

Dysphoria.[2]  The word dysphoria is used in general to describe discomfort, distress, or unease. For trans people, this kind of distress may be associated with one’s gender, one’s bodies, or how others perceive one’s gender, and so is often given the name ‘gender dysphoria’.

It is commonly assumed that all trans people have had, or currently have, dysphoria, or that it defines the trans experience. This is not true. Dysphoria occurs for all sorts of reasons and for many different people. Some trans people feel dysphoria as overwhelming or all-encompassing, while others don’t have any dysphoria at all. Many find this changes over the course of life or throughout gender affirmation. Gender dysphoria can feel different for everyone. It can manifest as distress, depression, anxiety, restlessness or unhappiness. It might feel like anger or sadness, or feeling slighted or negative about one’s body.

Diagnosis vs description.  It can be confusing but there is a difference between the diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria and the feeling of gender dysphoria experienced by some trans people. The diagnosis is one in a long history of ways clinicians and researchers have interacted with trans people.  The feeling of gender dysphoria could be considered through the lens of being a social condition rather than a medical issue. A condition that is exacerbated by misgendering, by barriers to affirming care, and by having assumptions made about someone by others, to name a few.

Gender euphoria.[3] Gender euphoria is the experience of feeling great about oneself, one’s body, and one’s gender. It was coined to express a positive and exciting feeling of one’s gendered self, which is a concept that is sometimes not talked about as much as negative experiences. Gender euphoria challenges the idea that trans people only ever experience gender dysphoria, and that the story of being trans is one rooted in misery.  Gender euphoria may manifest in response to being gendered correctly, after having a gender affirming surgery or buying some clothing you love. It may also be more general, like moments in day-to-day life of feeling happy, excited, loved, exuberant, or lucky to be in one’s body, whatever it looks like, enjoy it!

Dear ones,

Because life can be so brutal for transgender people

Because the experience of living with a body that does not match your identity is so hard and so heart-breaking

Because living an inauthentic life is so debilitating and so lonely

And

Because learning to accept oneself and live openly with pride as one’s most authentic self requires one to travel the path of courage every day

We pledge ourselves to be better allies, to work for justice and to practice Fierce Love.

A story – because euphoria needs to be shared and celebrated.

This is a horribly shortened telling of an essay written by Oliver Jones – He is 18 years old and lives in England.  “Becoming Prom King: How My Classmates Showed Their Support for My Transition”[4]

“I came out as a trans boy to my family and peers at age thirteen.

A few months before, my teachers were so concerned about my behavior at school that they recommended I see the on-site counsellor. I was refusing to take part in class, getting into fights with other kids, having screaming matches with my teachers. I hated everything and I didn’t care if my grades dropped or I got kicked out. …I just felt angry with the world. …..  I told them I wished I was a boy. That was the only explanation I could give.

When I changed my name and started using male pronouns my relationships improved. I stopped acting out ….I had the confidence to start socialising and spending time with family again. Life was looking up.

Real problems arose when I wanted to come out at school.

……..

I was sixteen years old.  Summer had begun and it was time for prom. My mum bought me my first suit, which was a huge moment for me. ….  Seeing myself in a suit felt incredible.  I looked smart; I looked handsome. …..  the boy I saw in the mirror was exactly who I wanted to be.

I joked around, saying I hoped I didn’t get voted Prom Queen – except it wasn’t a joke…it really was the kind of cruel prank people might play on me.

Words couldn’t express my shock when my name was read out.  But not for the reason I’d feared.

My teachers and friends had conspired to vote me in for Prom King. They’d come through to respect my gender. They planned to make it happen because they knew how much it would mean to me …..

I was so surprised, but so proud. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a more gender-euphoric moment ….

The symbolism of that title, the purest form of gender validation … it’s something I will treasure for the rest of my life.”

Enough said.

Blessed Be.   I Love You.   Amen.

[1] (“The Empowering Magic of Affirming ID” by Laura Kate Dale in Gender Euphoria, Stories of joy froms trans, non-binary and intersex writers. Edited by Laura Kate Dale. London: Unbound, 2021.  Pp. 222-229.)

[2] https://www.transhub.org.au/dysphoria

[3] https://www.transhub.org.au/dysphoria

[4] Gender Euphoria, Stories of joy froms trans, non-binary and intersex writers. Edited by Laura Kate Dale. London: Unbound, 2021.  Pp. 7 -17.)